Bye Bye Baby

Today my baby finishes Year 4.  

I feel like she is growing up so fast and my little one is no longer a little one. 

I miss babies, their chubbiness, their cuddliness. I want to hold a baby but all my friends are past the baby stage now. The youngest in our circle is just under 2. He is adorable and hilarious and I love hanging out with him.

We won't add to our family, it was a decade, a decade (!!) since I was pregnant. It seems like such a lifetime ago, the sleepless nights and sick stained shoulders.

Crazy still likes her cuddly toys, but dolls are gone. She is no longer my doll, I can’t get her to wear what I like or paint her nails or put ribbons in her hair.

She is so independent and so determined. 

It saddens me there is no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy and now, from a few weeks ago, no Santa.

But instead there is a wonderful side we are discovering and experiencing together. The interesting conversation, the cheeky, witty banter, the thoughtful observations, the coordinated sports person.

Even though she is nearly at my shoulder and I struggled to carry her weary body inside from the car after a late night - she will always be my baby.