It’s still all a bit mad.
The crazy thing, well, one of them because there are all sorts of bat shit crazy things about running 21.1kms, is that I feel ok about it. I feel ready. I don’t even feel that slow.
Last week I ran my longest distance before the big day, I ran 19km. That’s right, I said it. NINETEEN kill-Oh-Em-Geee-metres. I did it so slow to hopefully avoid too much strain on my body, but still I did that 2:08 without stopping and I know I could have added on those last few km’s that will be required in a few weeks, and I know I could have done it much faster.
What is weird is how my perception is now changing. I have done the 19 now so I feel calmer, less fearful, there is less thinking about what I can’t do, visualising more what I can, more prepared, ready to start tapering.
Tapering (lessening my distances so I’m not completely knackered come race day) means that today I am running 16km.
Firstly, I cant believe I am using words like tapering and secondly that I am OK about doing 16km’s. I know my route, I’ll take it easy, I’ll mix up the tunes and I will head out when I’m ready, thinking of my Sydney team mates. I’m not scared of it like I was a few weeks ago.
It's just a run.
I feel like this has also altered more than my perception about running. I feel in tune with me, my body, my health. I feel like I am becoming more and more the person who I want to be, in fitness, in appearance, in mind. More comfortable in my own skin.
It’s taken over 38 years and and it feels amazing.