Sunday, 12 January 2014

Did unruly pubes lose me a husband?

I read an interesting blog the other day. He (yes, he, there are boy bloggers out there in parenting bloggyland) blogged how his wife getting a pair of glasses suddenly renewed their sex life/relationship/naughty librarian activities.

Nice one. Congrats.

I’ve been wearing specs for years. There’s only so many years those naughty librarian story lines can be stretched out.

Every grown up knows that variety is the spice of life. Keep things interesting. Add a fantasy here. A special massage there. 

But things slip, life happens. Kids happen. Legs a little hairier a little longer than they used to be, bits not so tidy as they once were, a Brazilian purely a dream from a holiday pre-kids. 

He was lovely, the Brazilian guy. Such nice skin.

There are dips in every relationship but I am asking “is contentment confused with complacency”?

After decades together there will be less sex, of course there will be, even if you are Michael Douglas there’s going to be less sex, but there will also be less fireworks, less excitement than when you first started dating. 

More monotony, more family stuff, more just.... m’eh.

But doesn’t something much stronger develop, some crassly refer to it as the ‘comfy slipper’ syndrome.

Not the best way to get yourself laid referring to your partner as a slipper, but there is a beauty in being together on a level deeper than just carnal rooting. 

This is where I will lose any male reading this, I know that, but isn’t there something magical in feeling that you have this mate, hopefully for life, that makes you happy on a deeper level.

Sharing things together, being at ease together, changing together, not having to try too hard. 

Maybe that’s the problem. It’s all too easy? 

Maybe that’s a chick thing. This post isn’t supposed to be about sour grapes but unfortunately being content wasn’t enough for us and maybe that’s where it was confused with complacency. Doing new things, keeping things fresh wasn’t enough. So after 13 and a bit years we are no longer Mr and Mrs.

Perhaps women are actually from Mars and men really are penises.

I don’t know the answers, do you? What's the secret to longevity or do you just take your wins where you can get them?


Tell me all you know.

Ms Sabbatical xx

18 comments:

  1. Honey, the phrase "the grass is always greener" doesn't come from nowhere. Unfortunately despite thousands, if not millions, of people telling you that the grass actually isn't greener - some men (and women) still don't believe it. They're usually very sorry and they never work it out. It's definitely not your pubes that are the problem.

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  2. I think some men are from Uranus personally x

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    1. agree with that - and there are definitely no rings! x

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  3. If love can't sometimes be just doing the dishes. Or doing your own thing separately in companionable silence. Or having some injokes now and again. Or getting something that you weren't asked to get, well I don't want to hear about it.

    One of the best things I've read about it is this (says it much better than me anyway):

    Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”
    ― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

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    1. this is absolutely beautiful.... and takes away the image of Nicolas Cage which came whenever anybody mentioned the movie *shudder* xxx

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  4. I don't really know anything. A lot of it's luck maybe? Lucky to meet the right person at the right time? Lucky to have our health and the health of our children and therefore less stress on our relationship compared to others? Who really knows. I think its meant to be work, but not too much you know?
    Hope you are ok mate. I don't have any advice except to say you are awesome, and if I can do anything let me know. Happy to just be a friendly face for you to have dumplings with, while we talk about running and fruchocs.
    Love x

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    1. you're brilliant - fruchoc date is on x

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  5. I have no answers and I certainly don't believe anybody else does either!

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  6. Hey lovey, I read this last night on my ipad and that silly thing makes it difficult to leave comments! Hope you are doing ok! I don't think there are any black and white answers - marriage is a bugger and a lot of hardwork, that's how I find it anyway. It definitely has nothing to do with your pubes. Hugs to you xx

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    1. thanks love - thank god I didn't get rid of them then ; ) xx

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  7. Hope things are straightening out for you - it's such a traumatic time. Lot's of if-s and should-haves, could-haves. Hang in there, my lovely! The sun will come out and the tears will dry. Just don't rush things and let yourself grieve - because it does feel like a bereavement... You have lost the future you were always planning to have - together. The twist in a tale is that THIS future is going to be thousand times better than what you dared to imagine... Just hang in there xxx

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Hey there, what do you think? x