Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Love me Tinder

The other day someone told me I should now be on Tinder. 

Tinder what now?

Apparently all the singles are on it. But it’s not a dating site. 

Interesting.

It is based on your Facebook information, so using information that is already “public”.

Riiiiight.

So, purely for research purposes, I thought I would have a look and I went man shopping. 

For all the oldies out there or those out of practice, like me, here’s how it works. 

You log into the app each time through Facebook (but apparently, as the little disclosure says, nothing is ever published to Facey, thank god, how embarrassment!!), you choose a few images of yourself, add a bio if you want, then put in your settings. What are you shopping for? Age and location, so for example 38-42 year old men in a 10km radius.

Again, remember kids this is all just research.

And then like magic, men appear on your screen and it will tell you if you have shared Facebook interests and shared friends.

If there is someone you like, you swipe right, if it’s a no, swipe left. 

Now here’s the tricky bit. No one knows which way you have swiped, unless you have both swiped right. If you have, it comes up with a match and you can you can start chatting.

Fancy.

This is what I have learnt.

The first time your phone vibrates and flashes up with ‘its a match!’ you will shit yourself, maybe squeal, throw your phone across the room whilst running as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.

When you see the ex-partner of a friend pop up you will quickly ring that friend in a weird hysterical panic and explain everything whilst forgetting you are on the tram and the passengers are hearing all about your research.

So many guys don’t wear shirts. I have lots of male Facebook friends, but they all have their shirts on in profile pics, so I am still confused where all these naked men come from. Still trying to work out if there is a parallel naked Facebook universe out there.

Tigers. Tigers. Tigers everywhere. I never knew Siegfried and Roy had such wide appeal but apparently having a pic of you with a tiger is the done thing. Is walking around with a giant pussy cat on a leash a euphemism? Who knows, just looks silly.

Fella’s what’s with that little bit of fluff under the bottom lip?! Soul patches, fanny ticklers, douche tags. Call them what you like, unfortunately they are out there in abundance.

The mutual likes are usually pages like Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand and Runners World...... not many guys seem to like The Design Files or Pinterest. More’s the pity if you ask me. 

Unless you are looking for a quick root, you lose interest very quickly - there is only so many shirtless men with douche tags walking a tiger whilst on a jet ski that can keep you interested.

To me, Tinder, feels a very shallow, superficial way of meeting someone. It is completely based on a filtered selfie, a few witty lines and some shared Facebook interests. However, it's like flirting with someone in a bar, you know nothing about them but obviously something about the way they look interests you.

However, for all the single 38 year old women out there, I will take one for the team and I will continue logging on every once in a while to window shop - ha! the things I do for research.

3 comments:

  1. My sister recently went on a couple of dates with guys she met via tinder. She would also kill me if she knew I was telling you this. One of the guys she actually ended up seeing for a few months, so there ya go.
    And douche tag is my new favourite term. CLASSIC. My (still loathed) ex had and probably still has one. They are RIDICULOUS.
    Keep up the research. At the very least you are entertaining lots of people.
    Love ya x

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  2. I'm not afraid to admit that I met my husband on RSVP ten years ago. It was cheaper then. During my few months on that particular site I did not encounter any shirtless tiger walkers. More's the pity. Anyhow - don't give up - the whole internet dating thing is a numbers game that you can win. ;-)

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