Saturday, 5 April 2014

Oh Vlad


I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you pop up on my Tinder feed. Naturally I am sad for your conscious uncoupling, but secretly I am dancing like a pickled Babushka.

I remember the day long ago when I first saw an image of you, shirtless. I’m pretty sure you were shirtless - your trousers were so high it was like they were supporting that rock hard chest of yours.
Image source
And now - here you are. 

I feel like I have finally found the parallel shirtless Facebook feed I was looking for, so many pictures of you with bears, horses, tigers (!!), blowing shit up.

The high waist, the small features, those tiny eyes, that stern look.
Image source AP
We don’t have any mutual likes which confuses me, I’m surprised ‘Destroy the Joint’ is not one because I heard a rumour that’s what you like to do. 

I’ve just got my fingers crossed that you are not a sexist, homophobic, misogynist  megalomaniac, ring thief ...... am sure you’re not, because that sort of thing would be written in your profile, wouldn’t it?

Perfectly safe to swipe right, right?!

2 comments:

  1. That first picture made me SNORT! Mainly because if anyone could ride a bear topless...it would be Vlad ;)

    ReplyDelete

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